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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered numerous challenges, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. Many of her social circle drifted away at that point, since they had been focused solely on her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy toward our bond, and must have realised more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her last employer turned on her, although she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each left the workforce leading to more frequent meetups, yet I realize my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I open discussion points but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a vacation abroad I've visited many times even called home previously. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was not welcomed. She really solely sought validation of her plans. I recently returned from four weeks in that place she is eager to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is seldom a smooth outcome that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution requires bravery and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially is to state the usual pattern when you talk. It should be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Next is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no argument about this. Your feelings are valid, of course. Step three involves requesting how the two of you will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember that she also holds perspectives, meaning you must to remain ready to hear that. An approach that works is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will not say anything for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She could ignore everything, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a story of their life they're unable to abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents they've known. This is difficult when there seems no clear path in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might at first react this way before reflecting on your words. And even if you never reach a fix, it will give you satisfaction that you've been honest with her.